69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
