im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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