apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
