Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
