R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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