im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
