Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
