I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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