I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
