There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
