My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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