also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
