yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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