i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is it because I queefed?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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