dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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