all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
