I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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