I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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