I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Non-Jews are for practice
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
