i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
