STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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