And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize