I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
