Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
