I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
