i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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