Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
