it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
