They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
