Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
