The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
