I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
