new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
