The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
