i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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