There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
