I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it was like eating out sand paper
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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