if i died would you start the facebook group?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
