i don't like sucking hair
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
