rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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