I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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