Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
