So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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