Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
