it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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