You're my little dorito
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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