is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This house was built for laser tag.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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