Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
