Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
