It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
