But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
