So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
