Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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