I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
