never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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