Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
