The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
