if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
