She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize