Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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